Voca Me Bendictium
by madmax160
Summary: Sephiroth has his secrets, and so does Rufus. Can Rufus' heart - and Sephiroth's spirit - be saved? Yaoi. Chapter 5 up. more mystery
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: There. Disclaimed. I'm just not cool enough to claim them for myself, alright?!  
  
Setting: before Sephi went nutty and stuff.when he was the highly respected general of ShinRa and the little SOLDIER dudes. When Rufie was 15 -16 I think?  
  
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Rufus Jeremiah Shinra hid in the corner of the science lab, behind a large wall of cages containing Makou-infested guinea pigs, rabbits and bats. He nursed a bloody nose and a throbbing eye. If he could stay hidden until his nose stopped bleeding and got some ice on his eye before it turned into a shiner, he could get away with it and no one would have to know. That's right, it was simple.  
  
Rufus wadded up a pile of bloodied tissues and pushed them between two rabbit cages. He sniffed but instantly regretted it as a shock of pain thrust through his right nostril, up into his sinus cavities and rested in his forehead. He blinked away spots of light that flickered veraciously in front of his eyes.  
  
He heard soft footsteps coming towards him, no - no, not towards him, towards the cages he was hiding behind, yes, that's right and coming to a stop a few steps to the left of him. He peeked through the cracks of the cages and saw a flow of silver hair. General Sephiroth?  
  
Sephiroth opened a cage and took out a small rabbit. He stroked it for a few moments and then said softly to it, "That filthy Professor will use you the way he used me, and then he'll discard you, disregard your beauty, little one. You don't even have a name. Just a number. C-17-83.At least he gave me a name."  
  
Rufus pressed his face against the cages, but pulled away as the pain ripped up his forehead again. Sephiroth seemed to put the rabbit back in the cage and latch the cage, then take some steps closer to him. He glimpsed a bare arm, a bandage on the inner arm near the elbow. Sephiroth brushed his fingers across the bars of the cages, then bent down and peeked between the two cages at Rufus, revealing one glowing-green catlike eye.  
  
Rufus gasped and pulled back. Sephiroth rounded the outside of the cages and squeezed effortlessly between the gap between the cages a few rows down. Rufus felt the blood rush to his face.  
  
"This may not be my place to ask this, but what is our young vice president doing behind the filthy cages of lab animals?" he asked, his voice quiet but powerful. Rufus did not meet his eyes. Instantly Sephiroth was at his side, pulling him into the light. Rufus pulled back, refusing to let himself be seen in the state he was in. Sephiroth touched his face lightly and tilted his head to one side.  
  
"Who did this to you?" he asked gently. Rufus pressed his lips together, in a silent refusal. Sephiroth took him by the wrist and pulled him to his feet, leading him from behind the cages.  
  
"No -," came Rufus' quiet reply, but he let Sephiroth lead him from his dirty hideaway. Sephiroth let Rufus sit into a white-vinyl chair and touched his face.  
  
"Someone dares touch the vice president, and he refuses to reprimand his assailant? I am the General; I can have a hundred SOLDIER on him at once," Sephiroth's response came softly, but with an air of force into it. He began nurturing Rufus' wounds. His fingers were long and elegant, his hands here hard from the use of his swords, such as his Masamune, but they had the scent of lotion and a gentleness that seemed uncharacteristic of a warrior.  
  
"I.I fell down the stairs. I was half asleep; I wanted to." Rufus trailed off, not able to lie to Sephiroth as easily as he was able to lie to the rest of the world.  
  
"Ah. Yes. The stairs. They're always the bloody culprit. They were Scarlet's assailant as well, until she divorced that husband of hers," Sephiroth said, a subtle tone of sarcasm within it.  
  
Rufus had forgotten Scarlet had been married once. She rarely talked about it; in fact, very few people knew about the marriage, because it had been so long ago, and it was almost taboo to speak of it if you knew about it. She had been married for three years, until her husband beat her so badly that she was in the hospital for three days. She had told him that she was pregnant, and he did not want the child. He insisted she was sleeping with other men, that the baby wasn't his. The baby did not survive.  
  
"You shouldn't talk about it," Rufus said softly.  
  
Sephiroth merely chuckled. He had a nice laugh.  
  
"There. It should heal well, with slight bruises if any. You should get to bed."  
  
Rufus met Sephiroth's intense green stare, and although he normally refused to be the first to cease eye contact, he found himself lower his gaze as Sephiroth continued to gaze intently.  
  
"Yes..You're quite right," he said as he raised himself from the seat and began walking up the stairs. As he was parting, Sephiroth called after him, "If you remember that the stairs are innocent, tell me who the true reprobate is."  
  
Rufus stopped for a moment, trying to decide if he should answer, but then quickly departed, before he replied in a way which he would regret it.  
Please Review, I will post more chapters, and the more reviews I get the more chapters will be posted - there may be some Lemon-ish parts if you guys are enthusiastic! 


	2. Haryuu no Hanekata

Chapter two!  
  
Authors note: the reviews were appreciated! Thank you for supporting me, and more reviews please!  
  
Rufus fixed his tie uncomfortably, looking in the mirror. He hated ties. He avoided them as often as possible; however, he very rarely had dinner with his father so he wanted to look presentable. He turned to Tseng and Rude.  
  
"How do I look?" he asked.  
  
The Turks didn't reply for a moment, and then Tseng smiled.  
  
"You look wonderful, but, this is just a dinner date with your father, nothing more than that. Don't be so worried," the long haired Turk said with a smile.  
  
Rufus frowned, and Tseng grimaced, knowing he had said the wrong thing.  
  
"My father expects the best - Tseng - " Rufus stressed the name - "And he will certainly not approve if I appear looking like a common - common - urg -" Rufus turned and looked in the mirror, again adjusting his tie. He glimpsed his reflection in the mirror, and noticed his left eye was slightly darker than his right. He glanced at the two Turks. Neither said anything. Maybe they didn't notice.  
  
"I'll be waiting outside," Tseng said, and walked out. Rude raised an eyebrow.  
  
"What?" Rufus said tentatively.  
  
Rude shrugged and approached Rufus. He reached one of his massive hands out and touched Rufus' face. Rufus snapped back.  
  
"Don't touch me -" he retorted curtly. The corner of Rude's mouth twitched and he turned and followed Tseng. Rufus caught his breath.  
  
Rufus arrived after his father. He entered the massive dining room, his footsteps making small echoes, and he looked across the table at his father.  
  
"You're late. Sit down," his father said gruffly.  
  
Rufus sat abruptly, rubbing his knuckles nervously. Fortunately, they were far enough apart so that his father would not see the bruise on his eye.  
  
"I'm...I'm sorry, I couldn't find a decent tie -" Rufus started, but his father cut him off by saying, "It's an ugly tie."  
  
Rufus felt blood go to his face.  
  
"Of course it is," he murmured.  
  
"What? Speak up," his father grunted.  
  
"I - I said, Of course, you're right -"  
  
"A good politician always makes the right decisions, even about the ties he wears, and he speaks loudly and clearly enough for everyone to be able to hear him," his father said accusingly.  
  
Rufus felt the heat radiate from his face. He deeply regretted coming to visit his father.  
  
"I'm sorry, I just - ," Rufus started.  
  
"What's more, a good politician makes eye contact when he speaks - ," his father interrupted.  
  
Rufus stood up.  
  
"I'm sorry, I can't take this. My whole life you said I don't take no for an answer, that I'm better than everyone out there, and then you pull this shit, and -"  
  
"Watch your mouth!"  
  
"And I don't want to take it from you! No! I am not going to wear this stupid tie -" Rufus ripped the tie from his neck - "And I'm not eating dinner with you! I'm going to my room."  
  
The president stood up.  
  
"You selfish brat, is all you ever think about yourself?!" he growled, making his way towards his son. Rufus took steps back, finding himself pressed against the wall.  
  
"I - I'm sorry, I only -"  
  
SMACK!  
  
Rufus went silent as his father's large hand struck his face, except for a tiny squeal of pain. His father raised his fist, but the butler cleared his throat, and said, "The general is here to see you, sir, can I let him in?"  
  
"Not now, tell him later."  
  
Rufus covered his face with his arms, knowing the next blow would be worse than the last, but his arms were pulled down and his father hissed, "What are you, a fucking faggot?! You act like a little girl - sometimes I really wonder if you are my son!"  
  
"I am - of course I'm your son, I didn't mean it, I'm sorry, it was very rude of me, I won't do it again, I promise, I'm very sorry -"  
  
There came another blow, but then Rufus was shoved away.  
  
"Get out of here, you little bastard, and I don't want to see you until you can prove exactly who your father is!  
  
Rufus ran out as fast as he possibly could, blinking away tears, fleeing blindly until he ran hard into -  
  
"Sephiroth! I - I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention - " Rufus said, his voice cracking as he backed away, not looking the general in the face. He wondered if he was bruising, his father had hit him hard, that's all he needed, more bruises, God DAMN it!  
  
"Oh, it's quite fine. Are you alright, sir?"  
  
"What? Oh, yes -" Rufus hugged himself. "I - I have to go to my room. I'm sorry -" He walked around Sephiroth, but Sephiroth put his arm in front of him, causing him to stop. Rufus pulled away quickly.  
  
"Don't touch me - " he said softly.  
  
"Let me put some ice on that, sir."  
  
No, he couldn't let him. This was all a mistake, a huge mistake, his whole life, a mistake -  
  
"Yes..." he whispered.  
  
Sephiroth's bedroom was connected to his office. It wasn't quite as large as Rufus', but it was nice, nothing like Rufus had expected. Paintings of Angels were hung on the walls. Baby angels, women angels, men angels, androgynous angels, scores of angels, everywhere. Rufus was surprised at the innocence the general, a war hero, had possessed.  
  
"Sit," Sephiroth said, and Rufus did, admiring the paintings. Sephiroth put a bag of ice wrapped in a towel against Rufus' face, but Rufus merely looked around more.  
  
"Those damn stairs. They never know when to quit, do they?" Sephiroth chuckled softly.  
  
"Oh - well, it wasn't the stairs this time, it was just - "  
  
"Sh. I know who it was."  
  
Rufus fell silent. Everyone knew. But no one did anything.  
  
"I...like your angels," Rufus said as he took the bage of ice in his own hand.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"Where did you get them?"  
  
"I painted them."  
  
Rufus looked at Sephiroth, surprised.  
  
"You?"  
  
Sephiroth smiled.  
  
"I'm versatile."  
  
"I see. You're amazing."  
  
"Thank you."  
  
Rufus pressed the cold ice pack against his swollen cheek.  
  
"I wish I was talented."  
  
Sephiroth laughed.  
  
"What's so funny?!"  
  
"Nothing, you - you're such a little boy."  
  
Rufus glared at Sephiroth.  
  
"How dare you - "  
  
Sephiroth shook his head.  
  
"It's cute."  
  
Rufus blinked. Cute? The general had called him.cute?  
  
Strange.  
  
If he had called him something more, like, sexy, or delicious - no, that sounded like food - but cute? That made him sound like he was still twelve.  
  
Sephiroth was more than cute. Sephiroth was dead hot.  
  
Wait, no. Don't think things like that.  
  
"Cute?"  
  
"Yes. Cute," Sephiroth said simply.  
  
"Oh. Alright, cute."  
  
You're more than cute, Sephiroth. You're like one of those angels in your paintings. Beautiful. No, truly, beautiful.  
  
"Why? You don't like cute?"  
  
Rufus shrugged. "Well, I'm not four anymore. Four year olds are cute."  
  
Sephiroth bopped the end of Rufus' nose gently.  
  
"Well, you're cute."  
I hope you like it, I tried to lean more towards Sephi here, but kept a lot of Rufie too. Review, and suggestions welcome, too. I like to know what you guys like!! 


	3. Sweet kisses

Chapter three  
  
Authors notes: No one's reviewed in awhile, do I have fans out there? Any suggestions? I'm open. Enjoy  
  
Rufus awoke slowly, feeling groggy, and thinking he'd rather sleep the rest of his god-forsaken life away, and that his pillow smelled kind of strange. It didn't smell like the usual detergent he used, and didn't smell like the apricot shampoo he's been using lately, but rather like Juniper, or some other sort of flower. He rolled over and saw and angel in the chair next to his bed.  
  
He sat up with a short scream and realized he was surrounded by angels. He caught his breath. He wasn't even in his own room - he must have fallen asleep in Sephiroth's room, and Sephiroth let him sleep. How sweet. He must have taken the chair as a bed.  
  
Sephiroths head lay against the bed, although he otherwise was entirely in the chair. Rufus brushed hair from Sephiroth's face and licked his lower lip.  
  
He then realized his lip must have been split by the punch he received by his father the day before, and it seemed he must have bled on himself without realizing it. Sephiroth must have wiped off the blood as he slept.  
  
Rufus leaned his head against the bed near Sephiroth, touching his forehead with his fingers. Sephiroth's lips parted slightly, a soft rattling sound from the back of his throat. Rufus ran his fingers across Sephiroth's face, touching the corners of his mouth. His eyelashes were long and his hair encircled his face, making him look like the angels pictured on the walls. His tongue wetted his lips as he slept, and Rufus did all he could not to smother Sephiroth were he was.  
  
Sephiroth brought his hand to his face, twirling a strand of hair on his fingers. Rufus looked around. If he was to steal one kiss, just a small one, surely no one would find out. He hadn't had the opportunity to actually kiss anyone in his lifetime; he rarely was able to be in contact with people his own age, and when he was able to they were nothing pleasurable to look at. And it wasn't that he was...gay...just that he wasn't allowed women friends. A kiss was just a kiss, after all.  
  
After a moment Rufus leaned forward. Sephiroth's breath was warm and smelled sweet, like chocolate. The legendary general's breath smelled like chocolate.  
  
He tilted his head back, his lips parting a bit more and a deep sigh escaping from his mouth. Rufus leaned closer, his lips brushing against Sephiroth's. Sephiroth again licked his lips as he slept, his tongue making contact with Rufus' lips. Rufus caught his breath, his whole body shivering. Rufus pressed his lips gently against Sephiroth's, not wanting to wake him, but suddenly realizing how much he needed him. He was lonely. More so than he had initially understood; he needed this.  
  
His kisses grew firmer, more confident, and he kissed for several moments before he realized he was also on the receiving end of the kisses. He let out a soft murmur as his kisses grew needier, and he felt Sephiroth's hands cradling the back of his neck as they kissed.  
  
Rufus sat up, pulled himself onto Sephiroth's lap, straddling him. His excitement grew, and he realized that he had never tried to release this energy, never been able to, never really knew how to, and he didn't care where he got rid of it, just that he needed to express it, let it out, goddamn it, he was horny!!  
  
Sephiroth pushed Rufus away, made him stand, and walked over to his desk. Rufus watched him, offended.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
Sephiroth wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.  
  
How dare he.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"It's nothing - "  
  
"What do you mean nothing?! You enjoyed it - "  
  
"Please, sir, don't."  
  
"Don't?! I am the vice president, if you have forgotten, you cannot tell me -"  
  
"Rufus! Please, leave. I can't...WE can't."  
  
Rufus felt his eyes sting. How dare he lead him on in such a way!  
  
"What do you mean we can't?!"  
  
"My career, your career, your HEALTH, if anyone found out - "  
  
Rufus stood, enraged.  
  
"You son of a bitch," he hissed, and stormed out.  
  
How dare Sephiroth refuse him in such a way?! He was the Vice President! The vice president, and o one could tell him no!  
  
But why was he so upset? He wasn't GAY after all. He just needed to do it, with anyone, it didn't matter who - well, sort of, not Heidegger - but the fact was, Sephiroth had led him on.  
  
Rufus found himself crying. Why was he crying? He was acting ridiculous, like a child, like a fucking faggot -  
  
No. His father had always told him that, but it wasn't true. Maybe it was a good thing Sephiroth said no; surely he would regret it in the end. But, he had come so close... 


	4. Secret Love

Thanks for the reviews! This chapter has a little more humor in it, but it's nice. Sorry, Sephi fans, not much in this chapter, but he'll return soon! My Fenice helped me write this (she wrote several stories, you might have read hers?). She's not only a big Sephi fan but also Reno so I needed her help on this. (Her computers broke so she hasn't posted, for her loyal fans out there!)  
  
Enjoy this!  
  
Chapter 4  
  
You couldn't trust people. That's one thing that Rufus had learned over the years; people were fakes, they feigned emotion and compassion and sympathy and left you to rot as soon as the chance arose.  
  
Rufus sat against the wall, hugging his knees and listening the sounds of footsteps walking past. He had not done any work that day, nor the day before, since the day his father had hit him a week ago. He knew his father would be furious, but he had no motivation.  
  
"Sir? What are you doing in here?"  
  
Rufus looked up and saw Tseng approaching.  
  
"Tseng, I - hello."  
  
Tseng sat by him, flipping his hair over his shoulder.  
  
"You've been sneaking around; I can't be a bodyguard when the body I'm guarding is missing."  
  
"I'm here, you've found me."  
  
Tseng stared at Rufus for a moment.  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
Rufus hesitated.  
  
"I - I'm just a bit distressed," he said softly. "Have you - have you ever felt attracted to - um," Rufus hesitated.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"Well - to a boy? No, I mean, to a man. Even though you're perfectly straight?"  
  
Tseng laughed. Rufus stared at him.  
  
"It's not a joke! Don't laugh at me! I'm being perfectly serious."  
  
"I'm sorry, it really isn't funny, it's just - well, you're a teen. Teen- agers are always jittery about their sexuality, it's nothing no one else has gone through. Many straight people even have to test their sexuality, some several times, before they can really tell themselves that they're straight," Tseng put his hand on Rufus' shoulder reassuringly.  
  
"Have you?"  
  
A blush spread across Tsengs cheeks.  
  
"Have I what?"  
  
"Tested it?"  
  
"Well........."  
  
"Tell me! You have to tell me!"  
  
"Well - maybe once."  
  
"With who?" Rufus was suddenly interested.  
  
"It's really quite personal." Tseng said softly, his voice shaking as he spoke.  
  
"Tell me!"  
  
Tseng hesitated.  
  
"Please?" Rufus leaned his head on Tsengs shoulder.  
  
Tseng stood.  
  
"I've got to go, I'll - "  
  
"Fine, run away from me."  
  
"I'm not - "  
  
"Just go, shoo - I'll just mope here."  
  
Tseng gave Rufus a look.  
  
"Don't go wandering off. Stay here," Tseng said, and left the room.  
  
"Whatever."  
  
Rufus stood and brushed off his white pants. He grumbled for a moment and turned to the door of the Turks Lounge, deciding to wait for Tseng in there. As he opened the door, he was struck by the sudden thought that the Lounge had been ramsacked. Papers were everywhere, files that seemed to be important - and confidential - were everywhere. Rufus picked up a few papers and set them on the table, when he saw Reno's jacket. Had something happened to him? Why were the papers on the floor?  
  
Rufus raised his eyes and saw long wild red hair - red hair belonging to Reno - and -  
  
"OmiGOD!"  
  
Reno turned and looked at Rufus, his palm smashing Rude in the face as he pushed him away.  
  
"Rufus! Hi! What - what're YOU doing here?" Reno tittered nervously.  
  
"What are you DOING here?!"  
  
Reno tittered again, his face nearly as red as his hair.  
  
"Rude's taking a Med. Class, and, uhhhhh, he's practicing his CPR. I told him I didn't want him to practice on me - Damn you Rude, I said NO!"  
  
Rude stared at Reno, or at least, the palm of Reno's hand. He pushed Reno's hand away an said monotonously, "I apologize. I misunderstood. I though you said you wouldn't mind."  
  
Reno giggled nervously, almost a cackle, and hit Rude away.  
  
"You're a silly ecchi, you know that, baldy?"  
  
"..." Rude said, or, didn't say.  
  
"Dear God," Rufus said putting his hand on his mouth.  
  
"You need something, sir?" Reno asked, standing from the table on which he was sitting - or laying, whichever - and crossing his arms over his chest in a macho like pose.  
  
"You're - " Rufus couldn't help but stare.  
  
"What? Is it important? Rude, when's that Med. Exam of yours?" Reno asked Rude. Rufus noticed that Reno's fly was down.  
  
Rude shrugged.  
  
"Well you should go study. Sorry, sir, but Rude really needs to study. See you," Reno said, took Rude by his thick wrist and walked out of the Lounge.  
  
"Oh, my God." 


	5. Dream of Angels

Chapter 5  
  
Rufus dreamed of angels. Beautiful angels, each with its own beauty, purity, each singing its' own song. Some angels sang loudly, boldly, proudly, and some sang softly, sorrowfully, pitifully.  
  
The most beautiful of the angels stood alone, his radiance extraordinary but his song soft. Tears glistened like liquid silver from his eyes, and one massive, beautiful wing drooped at his side. Rufus whispered to him, telling him his one wing was more beautiful than all the other angel's wings combined. The angel ignored him.  
  
Rufus reached for him, caressing his wing, then hair, then his face, but the angel did not react. Rufus ached, from the pit of his stomach up to his throat, feeling the pain the angel felt, but not understanding.  
  
The angel whispered a quiet reply, but Rufus could not hear it. He reached forward and kissed the angel. The angel's tears fell to Rufus' face and he disappeared, wisping away as if wind took him off. All was silent except for the soft weeping transferred to Rufus.  
  
He woke up with tears on his face, not remembering his dream, but understanding nonetheless. He pushed aside his covers and ran out of his room, down the hall, the stairs, and stopped only when he arrived at Sephiroth's room.  
  
He knocked softly.  
  
"General?" he whispered.  
  
Silence.  
  
He knocked again.  
  
"General?"  
  
Rufus heard footsteps. After a few moments, the door opened.  
  
"General, I - I had to apologize about last week. It wasn't right of me to get so upset - hey, are you alright?" Rufus stopped. Sephiroth was wearing a black wife-beater and boxer-shorts. Bandages and bruises swathed his arms from his wrists to the end of his forearm at his biceps. His eyes looked tired.  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"Had to go in for testing. Hojo, you know. But It's all right."  
  
"Bruises - "  
  
"Shots."  
  
Rufus furrowed his eyebrows and pursed his lips. Sephiroth was holding something back.  
  
"Shots?"  
  
"Yes, but it's fine now."  
  
"Oh. Well, I just wanted to apologize."  
  
"No need."  
  
Rufus looked into Sephiroths eyes. They held something icy and cold that Rufus had only seen at crucial times before this.  
  
Something was very wrong. 


End file.
